A Safe New World: The Rally

An “anti-offence” rally at a western-situated University, Fall, 2180.

It was one the most dramatic public arguments that had arisen in months. Of course, these events were bound to dredge up the “fanatics.” It was shortly after the beginning of the semester, and one of the student protest groups had already began their campaign. The current rally’s slogan was highlighted in a large digital panel held over the stage, reading “DOWN WITH OFFENSIVENESS.”¹

Between the non-imposing speeches provided by the various members of the group, an upstart first-year had triggered a heated argument involving several of the rally’s attendees. Being at the back of the closely huddled mob listening to the protest, the young man had said- quite loudly- “Hey! Can you please use a microphone?! We can’t hear you at the back!”

The nerve. As to be expected, his audacity was lept upon instantly.

Turning around with the look of poorly-concealed irritation, a short blond girl turned around and peered up at him.

“What do you mean, we?” She demanded.

The boy, blustering already, didn’t say much. Gesturing around him, he managed to get out “Well, ah, the people at the back…they’re not using a microphone…I want to hear them.”

“Hm,” she replied, incredulous, “Since when were you decreed the representative of “the people at the back”? I can hear them fine.” She stated, one judgmental hand on one judgmental hip. “Just because I’m in the back, and I can’t necessarily see everything ‘cause there’s taller people in front me, doesn’t mean I’m just going to yell “HEY! I CAN’T SEE BACK HERE, CAN’T EVERYBODY SHRINK?!” Several people had now turned toward her, nodding in agreement, and somehow simultaneously showing their contempt for the boy.

“But I wasn’t-” the boy began, “Yeah,” chimed in a guy next to him. “you’ve seem to have forgotten about everybody else here!” Gesturing out towards the crowd, this new student continued, “How do you know people want it louder?..Hm? What about those of us with sensitive hearing?”

“Even on TOP of that” another student chimed in, “Not that I’m disagreeing with either of you two- who both make good and valid points by the way-” The other two nodded in polite recognition “What about those people who have finally managed to convince organizations like this to adopt ‘earth-pal’ initiatives?”² At this, several hands came out of the crowd and patted the third contributor on the back “Oh, thank you, yes…thank you…” he replied. Having turned around to shake each friendly student’s hand in thanks for their appreciation of his comment, the boy finally managed to slip away, acknowledging the unwelcoming atmosphere that had rebuked his insensitivity so quickly.

With the troublemaker gone, the well-meaning crowd once again pressed in to do their very best to hear the equally well-minded speaker who had just taken the stage. This very well-rounded individual,³ after having taken a cautious sip of water from a white glass with “peace” scrawled across it (with “caution: may contain hot liquids” stamped underneath), began to speak in a steady tone:

“Injustice is, and always will be, intolerable.” He began, discreetly holding up one finger as if to point out the idea in the air, “The recent events which have transpired in Australia cannot be simply looked over as an event in a foreign country, but at as an event of the world. OUR world!”

He paused for effect, which may or may have not been effective.

“The State in Australia has become threatened.” He continued, “threatened by the dangerously polarizing effects of disagreement!⁴ Representative Aedrean Austral⁵ has produced a scandal which we, the citizens of the world, will not soon forget. In placing the well-meaning citizens of Australia above the equally well-minded citizens of all the other countries of this, our planet, he has tipped the balance of equality which the world’s governments have worked so hard towards. Worse yet, other Australians have actually agreed with him!”

A low disapproving rumour, with many “I can’t believe it”s and “amazing”s and “despicable”s rose up from the crowd.

“Yes! I know!” He replied, leaning forward and raising his eyebrows in communal shock, “They say the Australian people have particular needs, that their state is in the best place to cater to these needs, and that, by trying to not offend the rest of the world, it has left them neglected!”

The well-rounded speaker reared up and placed his hands behind his back, “Sound familiar?” he asked, in an ominously calm tone.⁶

The crowd nodded in grave silence.

“We all know the consequences of these types of disagreements: they can be very serious. I am not one to war-monger, however, and I am not about to condemn those radical Australians who are currently disagreeing with the status-quo.” The speaker said with a slight head tilt and rye smile which seemed to say ‘I’m-not-about-to-fall-for-that-old-trick.’

“We must always give them the benefit of the doubt,” he continued, “as we cannot presume to know every detail of the conflict which is currently raging down under” With a slight smirk, you could tell the speaker had very much enjoyed his brief foray into the realm of colloquial terminology.

“Instead, what we CAN do, as conscientious members of this world, is stand and show our opposition to offensive behaviour.” The speaker’s voice was now rising in volume, and the crowd remained calm.

“Presuming that the good people in Australia will work out their differences- for we do not want to accuse them of being incapable!- We are left with the obvious culprit: confusion. With disagreement, comes the destruction of a national consensus, and with that, a state of confusion in which people are likely to rashly pick a side which likely opposes- inadvertently perhaps- another.”

Pausing to let this delicate display of rhetorical ability sink in, the speaker drew up a fist to his chest and continued, “It is in these moments of division…and polarization… that offence is born….and it is to THIS tragic situation, which currently looms over Australia like a dark cloud, that we say, “STOP”!” Punctuating his final words with a small pump of his loosely clenched fist, the speaker, ending his tactfully brief speech, inaudibly thanked the crowd for their attention, and walked off the stage to the moderate applause of the crowd.

“Hm..” One student said to another, “Excellent points, just excellent.” “Absolutely,” said another. “Not that we have anything against Australians, though.” “No!” the first replied, cautiously looking around for the sign of an offended face, “of course not.”

¹ There was a conspicuous lack of rally signs and pamphlets. Such attention-grabbing techniques had long since been abandoned as they were both aggressive (what about the people who weren’t against confusion?), and a colossal waste of paper (what about the trees and the people who care about them?).

² Earth-pal initiatives was a non-confrontational and polite group of well-minded students who sought to convince (in a friendly way) other student groups to be more ecologically friendly. This protest group had done so by deciding to save power and give their speeches without microphones. It is worthy to note that the overly aggressive boy in question was not the only one who couldn’t quite hear everything that was being said, but, in deference to the hard work that had clearly gone into the rally, they largely trusted that what the group members were saying was altogether agreeable.

³ For those of you unfamiliar with the jargon, “well-rounded individual” was one the most complimentary ways to describe just about anybody. A “well-rounded individual” was one with a medium physique, not too tall, short-crop hair, and beigy-white clothing. Truly an epitome of the current fashion, for any of the numerous gender variations.

⁴ “The State” was, by then, a general term which could be applied to nearly every government in the world, which had, in the previous century, amalgamated the divergent wings of political thought into a unified party which got little done and offended even fewer people. The division which had erupted in Australia was caused by one of the elected officials’ ideas that the Australian State should be more concerned with not offending Australians then not offending the citizens of the other countries, thereby (obviously) causing a significant amount of offence which rippled throughout the rest of the flabbergasted world.

⁵ Everybody in Australia, in fact, had this last name. Surnames only caused difference and conflict, after all.

⁶ The speaker was, clearly enough, referencing the Fifth World War which had erupted between Greenland and India in 2098. Claiming to have “drastically different needs” than the Indian population, Greenland had erupted in country-wide protests which eventually led to a declaration of war between the two countries, followed by the involvement of every other country in support of India, who had been seriously offended. Greenland’s selfish population had been utterly destroyed, and the land was now being used partially as a landfill, and partially as a natural penitentiary for those found guilty of what the UN called “gross offensiveness.”